Month: February 2017

How to build Self Esteem and stay Confident

Self Esteem and Confidence are two major things you need to have to assess and achieve your goals. Otherwise, it is much difficult to accurately access what you want your goals to be, leave alone achieving them.

Your surroundings are very important as you handle people with different behavior. Consider the following points also, so that you benefit whenever you feel low.

1. Negative Work Environment

If your work environment has “dog eat dog” theory people where everyone is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. You may find you are working harder and harder for less and less return.

Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Find ways to manage your work within the normal working day at least 90% of the time. If you have to compete with others, compete on your own terms. Power games or negative behavior will only make you feel badly about yourself.

2Other People’s Behavior

Gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, controllers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers … all these negative behaviors in others will damage your self esteem, as well as to your self development program. But remember, it is not the person that is the problem: it is their behavior.

3Changing Environment

You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. They test our flexibility, adaptability and alter the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for a while and often cause stress, but when we look back we will see that change is often the catalyst or cause of self development.

4Past Experience

It’s okay to cry when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear by constantly thinking of the bad things that have happened to you or others in the past. It’s easy to wreck a relationship by bringing with you the issues you had in your last relationship, and expecting your new partner to be like your previous one. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson, and move on.

5Negative World View

Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

6Determination Theory

The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits, your upbringing, and your current environment such as your friends, your work situation, the economy and even the climate of the country that you live in.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that your genetics or upbringing will determine how your life goes. You have your own identity. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem?

Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem and set you on the path to positive self development.


What is Emotional Eating and How to Overcome it.

Emotional Eating is something that happens over and over without even realizing. Eating is a regular part of life and your body gets its nutrients from food.  Sometimes we can overdo our eating and it can result in gaining weight.  Emotional eating becomes an issue then. The problem of emotional eating may end with the scale but it begins in the mind.  Stress takes its toll on your life.  When your defenses are compromised your health takes a hit and so do your emotions.

Everyone has to deal with good days and bad days.  How we deal with the bad ones brings emotional eating into play.  You look for comfort for your hurts.  People who turn to food for comfort find a coping mechanism that won’t judge them, hurt them or tell them “no”. To complicate the issue, eating pleasurable foods can stimulate the release of endorphins just like exercise.  So, after you eat, you feel better.

Emotional eaters use food to relieve stress.  They hide behind the food instead of seeking solutions to the problems.  But, how do you know you are using food in this way? The first sign is obvious. You will gain weight if you eat too much. In light of the weight gain, examine other areas of your life:

  • Have you been under stress lately at work or at home?
  • Has anything traumatic happened in the last year?
  • Are you dealing with a problem but haven’t found a solution?

Answering “yes” to any of these questions could mean that you are an emotional eater.  You eat but you are not necessarily hungry at the time.  The foods that you choose are what we term “comfort foods”:

  • High fat foods like French fries, fried foods
  • High carb foods like macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes
  • Sugary foods like ice cream, donuts, cookies, cake

There is help for emotional eaters.  The first step is recognizing that you have a problem.  You’ll experience feelings of helplessness and guilt.  The guilt is over potentially ruining your health and the helplessness lies in the fact that you don’t see a way out.

Secondly, seek counseling.  There are many types of counselors out there that can meet your need.  Emotional eating has nothing to do with dieting or changing your eating habits but gaining control over your emotions. A counselor might suggest things like visualization, practicing problem solving skills, relaxation techniques and family support.

Thirdly, your family can learn your triggers for stress and be on the lookout for changes in your eating habits.  They can help you be aware of the foods you are eating, assist you in making healthy food choices and exercise along with you.  Proper diet and exercise increases immunity, blood flow and positive thinking.  Yoga enhances the mind and body connection so you don’t eat when you aren’t hungry.

Finding new ways to solve your problems and deal with stress will push food out of the equation.  You’ll feel good about finding solutions which will replace the dependence on food.